I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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