yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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