I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
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I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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