I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
