The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
