hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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