why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
