Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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