does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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