Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
