I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
