I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you didnt know i had herpes?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
