You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
