it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
