I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
