he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
