u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
