Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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