During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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