i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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