Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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