Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
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I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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