Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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