I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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