I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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