my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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