My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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