I'm lost and stupid without you.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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