i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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