just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
