thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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