I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
