i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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