so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
