WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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