I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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