At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
