Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
