And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
