i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
