Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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