your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
