youre lurking in front of me
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
