We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
