my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize