I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
