No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
