I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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