She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
