how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
