How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
