he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize