For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
