i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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