he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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