wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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