Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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