dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
